Trying to get people to change can be a really hard thing to do. We all have experienced that in some form and you can tell by the repeated examples in many of these videos and in the book, Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change. We have all experienced a time where we have wanted someone that we care about to change. And to us, it makes so much sense and we just do understand why they won’t just do it. These feelings are so strong that we can oftentimes feel hurt when the other person doesn’t change and take it as a personal attack. In most cases, we give lots of information to try and convince others of change but we can reach information overload and it can quickly become overwhelming. This makes it easier to just stick with the original behavior than to make a meaningful change. That is why speaking to the heart is where we see real change take place. I love the video with the two boys asking for a light for their cigarettes. Everyone immediately began to tell the boys how bad it is for them, and I can’t help but think they saw themselves at a young and impressionable age while looking at these young boys and longed for a clock to turn backward. Then the question of why did they not care about themselves the way they cared about the boys went straight through to their hearts. It may have not made them stop smoking right then, but I’m sure that encounter stuck with them for a while and maybe it was a first step in the right direction. A good place to start with this is to identify why you are wanting change, because if you do not know your why, how are you going to get someone else to buy what you are selling?
I also feel like there is a second part of creating change. First, you aim for the heart. After that, we make small changes or focus on one thing at a time. We cannot expect someone to do a 180 overnight, but a step in the right direction is still a small victory. And lots of small victories will eventually add up to a big one. By celebrating the small victories and starting with clear concise goals, I feel that change can be possible even with the most challenging peers. By having a well-developed why statement and creating a sense of urgency, you can get others on board with you and turn toward change.
References:
Asacker, T. [TEDx Talks]. (2014, June 30). Why ted talks don’t change people’s behaviors: Tom Asacker at TEDxCambridge 2014 [Video]. YouTube.https://youtu.be/W0jTZ-GP0N4
Kotter, J. [Dr. John Kotter]. (2011, March 23). The heart of change [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NKti9MyAAw
Kotter, J. [Dr. John Kotter]. (2013, August 15). Leading change: Establish a sense of urgency [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yfrj2Y9IlI
Maxfield, D. & Grenny, J. [Crucial Learning]. (2015, January 5). How to change people who don’t want to change [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/9ACi-D5DI6A
Sinek, S. [TEDx Talks]. (2009, September 28). Start with why: How great leaders inspire action [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZoJKF_VuA&t=164s
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